Twenty-Six

I do not know how prevalent this is, but I am always shocked how just a couple months before my birthday I suddenly realize I am ready to be that age. I suppose I am still at that age where each new number is like a right of passage into a new chapter in my life. But this next chapter, I just realized now, means more than all the others. I am ready to enter the second half of my 20’s because I am becoming such a strong person. I remain always self-conscious, and a little shy on occasion, but no longer do I shy away from the harshest aspects of the world I am coming to know. And in this growing and stretching of my courage, I am beginning to envision remarkable ways to make positive changes that I could never have done through the original goals I left my undergraduate experience expecting to fulfill. In high school I had such grand ambitions of being a great scientist, environmentalist, historian, or writer. But by the time I had received my bachelors of sciences my ambition had nearly vacated me as I looked in awe at great minds who seemed a universe away from me. I lost sight of my own inner intelligence and thought that the only creativity and vision I could give to the world was through my clever hand in writing, an intuitive gift for the culinary arts, an aesthetic inclination for garden design, and my passion for plants. These were beautiful gifts, but living upon them alone left me feeling desperate. I see now that I needed to experience the loss of a place I loved dearly and of one I loved even more to come home to my inner energy and aspirations: to see within myself the creativity and intelligence I thought I did not have in comparison. This journey since those years as an undergraduate has been a rediscovery of my inner self, but more importantly, a realization of my personal power to affect change in ways I will not understand at this time but which I can feel moving in my veins. And this power has given me a taste of freedom I have never had before to do more than I realized was possible and to see beyond the horizons I had built for myself.

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One Response to Twenty-Six

  1. Barbara Nightingale says:

    Life is a journey, and as you open the door to a new year, your past foundation has overall prepared you for the exciting next chapter!

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